28 June 2014

Magic Items of the Absurd


This article, ​"The 20 Most WTF Magical Items in Dungeons & Dragons," is a fun read.

For some inexplicable reason, I found this one especially hilarious:
13) Druid's YokeIf you're in a D&D campaign where you need to do any kind of farming, you have bigger problems than any magical item can fix. But this yoke allows characters to — when they put it on themselves — turn into an ox. Not a magical ox; a regular ox. Then you can till your field yourself! You can't do it any faster, because again, you're just a goddamned ox, but it does allow you to… do the horrible manual labor… instead of the animal you've bred for this exact purpose. So that's… something someone would totally want. The best part? Once you've put it on, you can't take the yoke off; someone else has to do it for you. Because you're a goddamned ox.

2 comments:

  1. A lot of cursed items I assume are made by accident. There are lots of stories of wizards screwing up and getting an items that does the opposite of what they want or such. There was a book I liked when I was a teenager about a wizard that messed up a ritual and used a copper ring instead of a gold. Since copper tarnishes, the spell was cursed, and instead of making the person he caste it on invulnerable, it made him invulnerable until he'd killed 100 times, at which point the spell would turn on him....

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I'm a Canadian philosopher, fantasy gamer, and procrastinator extraordinaire, who divides his time between Milwaukee WI and Toronto ON. I lived in Dublin Ireland 2005-2008, and still miss it very much! At least I still have Guinness.